


bad dreams

by The_Eclectic_Bookworm



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV)
Genre: F/F, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-12
Updated: 2019-04-12
Packaged: 2020-01-12 00:34:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,267
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18435365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Eclectic_Bookworm/pseuds/The_Eclectic_Bookworm
Summary: In which Anya has new-relationship insecurities, Giles has insecurities in general, and Jenny has gotten a little better at being honest.





	bad dreams

**Author's Note:**

> SO. i have been thinking about giles/jenny/anya as a concept for like a week now, & finally decided to try my hand at writing it, esp. since i have tentative ideas for a much larger fic involving them. a lot of this is to test the waters.
> 
> this fic is thanks in part to jack, who listened to me ramble about g/j/a for a Really Long Time yesterday. love u a WHOLE bunch.

There were some moments—not many, but _some—_ where Anya felt like she was _ridiculously_ behind the curve with regards to Jenny and Rupert. She supposed a lot of it had to do with the fact that Jenny and Rupert had known each other a lot longer than she’d known both of them, and shared a whole bunch of experiences that she hadn’t had any part in—but some of it was just because this whole thing was really new, and Anya was _really_ nervous. It felt like twice the pressure, because now she had _two_ people who might suddenly realize they didn’t like her and didn’t want her and didn’t need her.

She loved them _so_ much, though, which was why it made moments like these hard: Jenny was crying, little shaky sobs, as she buried her face in Rupert’s shoulder. Rupert was rocking her with a practiced ease, humming a song Anya didn’t know; Anya felt like an intruder.

“Come here, Anya,” said Rupert suddenly.

Heart in her throat, Anya obliged, scooting a little closer across the bed until her shoulder bumped Rupert’s. Jenny lifted her head, eyes blotchy, and sort of bumped her forehead against Anya’s in an all but companionable way. “Hi,” she whispered hoarsely.

“Bad dream?” Anya inquired, feeling stupid for even having to ask the question.

But Jenny smiled a little, reaching up to stroke Anya’s cheek. “Getting better,” she said.

Rupert was giving Anya that Look that meant he knew what she was worrying about, and was about to try and prove to her how ridiculous it was. Just as Anya was opening her mouth to try and stop him from doing—whatever it was he was going to do, Rupert said, “Here, Jenny—” and shifted Jenny over to Anya in one smooth motion.

Anya, who hadn’t been expecting this, and who was just _slightly_ smaller than Jenny, fell ungracefully back against the pillows, Jenny falling along with her. She felt Jenny begin to giggle, still a little shaky, but happy nonetheless. “Do you need a little more warning next time?” Jenny whispered.

In answer, Anya tugged Jenny up and kissed her, still feeling that frustrated inadequacy. Jenny was so sweet, and so funny, and Anya loved her _so_ much but she was barely able to _help—_

Jenny hummed, a pleased, contented sound, and kissed Anya back, snuggling into her as she pulled away. “Rupert?” she murmured, eyes already fluttering shut.

Rupert gave Anya a little thumbs-up. That made Anya smile. Then he leaned across Jenny and gave Anya a soft, solid kiss, the same kind of kiss that Anya had been doing her best to give Jenny: comforting, and warm, and I-love-you-always. “All right?” he asked. It wasn’t really clear who this was directed at.

“Mmm,” said Jenny, who seemed to be falling back asleep. On Anya’s shoulder.

“You have a _pillow,_ ” said Anya, who really didn’t want to wake up with arm cramps.

“Yes,” Jenny agreed, not moving. “My girlfriend. Best pillow.”

“Turnabout is fair play, isn’t it?” said Rupert.

“You know what, Rupert,” said Anya, “you are _more_ than large enough to support both of us when we require it, and the next time I hear you complaining about having to act as a pillow for two of _the_ most beautiful women on the _planet—”_

Rupert lay down on his side and moved closer to Jenny, beginning to rub her back. To Anya, he said, “You know, before you, calming her down after a nightmare like that one took at _least_ half an hour.”

“You’re just being nice,” said Anya a little glumly.

“Yes, I am,” said Rupert, looking at Anya like she was very stupid. “That’s rather the point of being in love with someone.”

Reluctantly warmed—the phrase didn’t lose its novelty no matter _how_ many times Rupert or Jenny said it to her—Anya smiled, absently stroking Jenny’s hair. Jenny sighed in her sleep. “I love you too,” she said, and it wasn’t really clear who _that_ was directed at either. Didn’t matter. She loved both of them, anyway.

* * *

 

Rupert had nightmares too, obviously. Watchers always did. He woke up shaking, then shook off Jenny’s hand when she reached out. “It’s fine,” he said, sharp and a little strangled. “Just—I need a moment, if you both don’t mind.”

But that didn’t seem right to Anya. Rupert was always putting _distance_ between himself and other people when he was hurting, and it was ridiculous, and all it really did was hurt him _more._ And Anya loved Rupert, and he was so soft and kind when other people needed it, so—she moved forward on the bed, then gripped his shoulder until he looked up at her. “Hi, Rupert,” she said, rubbing her nose against his. “Hey.”

Rupert made a little sobbing noise and sort of fell forward, his cheek on Anya’s shoulder. Anya glanced over at Jenny, and saw that Jenny was already untangling herself from the nest of blankets, moving in to kiss the top of Rupert’s head. “How’s it going?” she whispered.

“Could be better,” said Rupert into Anya’s shoulder.

“Yeah?” Jenny murmured. “Wanna talk about it?”

“No,” said Rupert unsteadily, raising his head. He looked almost embarrassed. “Anya, I’m sorry,” he said. “I never meant—I hoped you would never have to see—”

“Oh, don’t be _ridiculous,_ ” said Anya with a huff.

“It’s a moment of weakness,” said Rupert quietly.

“So?” said Jenny. “Everybody has them.”

Rupert exhaled. Then he said, “I only—I rather hoped that Anya would see me as someone…braver. Than I am.”

Anya made an _extremely_ indignant noise. “You take that back!” she said, and pulled Rupert up to press a firm, angry kiss to his mouth. “You are the _bravest_ man I know, Rupert Giles, and if I hear you _ever_ say anything to the contrary again, I will _whack_ you upside the head with the nearest pillow!”

“Now  _that’s_ a pep talk I can get behind,” said Jenny, grinning. “And that goes double on the pillow whacking, Rupert.” She moved in, giving Rupert another kiss. “We love you, remember? All of you. Nightmares are never, _ever_ going to change that.”

“I know they won’t for _you,_ Jenny,” said Rupert, who was now giving them both a small, uncertain smile. “I suppose I was just…unsure as to whether they would for Anya.”

“Short of you torching the Magic Box and stealing all my money, I don’t think _anything_ could change the fact that I love you,” Anya informed him. She turned to Jenny, grinning softly. “And that goes for you too, of course.”

“Noted,” said Jenny, and kissed Anya—that same I-love-you-always kiss that Anya was still getting used to. “So. Bed?”

Anya lay down, pulling Rupert with her, and Jenny snuggled into Rupert’s other side. “We _love_ you,” Anya whispered again, and her heart did a little happy flutter when Rupert’s face finally relaxed all the way. “Okay?”

“Okay,” Rupert whispered back, hand reaching to tangle with Anya’s.

* * *

 

Anya didn’t have nightmares in the same sense as Rupert and Jenny. There weren’t many monsters that ex-vengeance demons were scared of; you’ve seen one creepy demon guy, you’ve seen them all. But sometimes she did dream about Rupert and Jenny—and not in the nice, fun, sexy sense, where she woke up a little turned on and then woke _them_ up so they could do something about it. She’d dream that they would tell her they didn’t need her anymore, and that they’d never really needed her to begin with, and that there had only ever been room enough for them to love each other. And they’d be _kind_ about it, which would always make it hurt more than anything angry or violent. They’d be kind, and gentle, and, and—

Anya woke up with a sharp gasp, pressing her hands to her face and hoping against hope that Rupert and Jenny wouldn’t notice. Both of them were usually pretty deep sleepers, and usually she was able to handle these kinds of things without them noticing, it was fine, it was _fine—_

“Baby,” Jenny murmured, stirring, and tugged at Anya’s pajama top. “Come back to bed.”

Lowering her hands, Anya tried to say something placating yet witty in return, but her words all seemed stuck in her throat.

“Anya?” Jenny sat up, alert and a little worried. “Honey, what’s wrong?”

Anya didn’t answer. Couldn’t answer, mostly. Couldn’t stop thinking about how Jenny and Rupert had always been such a cute couple, and how _couple_ really was the key word right there, and how she couldn’t _possibly_ compete with either of them if they decided that somebody had to go—

Jenny moved forward, cupping Anya’s face in her hands. “Hey, sweetie,” she said. Jenny didn’t usually call Rupert pet names, but she sure used a _lot_ of them for Anya. Something about that made Anya feel better—like she really _was_ somebody special to Jenny. “Can you tell me about it?”

“You never ask Rupert to tell you about it,” said Anya waspishly.

“You’re not anything like Rupert,” said Jenny patiently.

Oh boy. That did it. Jenny was looking at Anya all kind, and this was gonna be the moment where she realized that Anya _wasn’t_ like Rupert, wasn’t someone Jenny wanted around _all_ the time, and all of a sudden Anya couldn’t help herself and just started crying. She saw Jenny’s eyes go wide, heard the rustle of blankets that meant Rupert was probably awake too, and tried to remind herself that this  _wasn’t_ something she wanted to _talk_ about with them, not while she was all insecure and shaky—

“Darling,” she heard Rupert murmur, and then he was hugging both of them at the same time, somehow. God, it really did pay off to have a boyfriend twice your size. Jenny was stroking Anya’s hair the same way she stroked Rupert’s, and Rupert was humming that same song he’d always hummed to Jenny, and—

“Please don’t leave me,” Anya whispered. “I love you so much. Please don’t go away.”

“ _Oh,_ ” said Jenny. Her voice broke. “Oh, Anya—baby— _what_ made you think we ever would?”

“Everybody—everybody always goes away,” Anya said unsteadily, raising her head to look at Jenny. “And you two love each other so much, a-and you were together _long_ before I was even in _Sunnydale,_ and if this thing ever goes south, it’s not gonna be one of you who ends up with nobody.”

Jenny and Rupert looked shocked, and _hurt,_ and like neither of them really knew what to say to that.

“I’m okay with it,” said Anya. “I-I get it. You two have known each other longer, you’re the _couple_ in this relationship—”

“Stop,” said Rupert. “Anya.” He sounded near tears himself. “Do you honestly think you’re just—how could you _possibly—_ ”

“I think I’m gonna try my hand at this one,” said Jenny, and bumped her forehead against Anya’s the same way she had when it had been _her_ nightmare. “Anya, did you know that I’ve told all of _two_ people that I’m in love with them?”

Anya definitely had not known this.

“You wanna try and guess who those people are?” said Jenny.

There was a lump in Anya’s throat. She swallowed, but it didn’t go away.

“Rupert,” said Jenny, “and _you._ Okay?” She kissed Anya, soft and solid. “You mean so much to me,” she said. “Just _you._ Not attached to Rupert, or as an add-on to me and him—I love _you,_ Anya.”

“Seconded,” said Rupert, who seemed to be doing his best not to cry. “Good god, Anya, I-I had no _idea_ you thought—” He turned Anya’s face towards his and kissed her too, then pressed a kiss to her forehead. “I love you,” he whispered, and it felt like Anya was hearing it for the first time all over again.

God, they _loved_ her, and it made Anya feel so _stupid_ for doubting them, even in the back of her head _._ “I’m so sorry!” she sobbed. “I didn’t mean—I was just _scared_ —”

“I know, honey,” Jenny whispered, “that’s kinda the way nightmares go, remember?” She tugged Anya over and kissed her again, then gently pushed Anya back down onto the bed, rolling over to lie down next to her.

Rupert was looking at them both with this half-heartbroken expression. It was clear Anya’s admission had affected him pretty deeply.

“Come _here_ , Rupert,” said Anya, unable to keep the impatience out of her voice. She very much wanted to be the one in the middle, this time around, but there wasn’t any middle if Rupert wasn’t there too—

 _Oh._ Okay. _Now_ she got it. It wasn’t just Jenny-and-Rupert plus Anya, it was Jenny-and-Rupert- _and_ -Anya. Anya would _never_ be able to give up Rupert for Jenny, or leave Jenny for Rupert—and it worked just the same for _them_ , too. “Rupert,” said Anya, feeling a kind of transcendental joy, “can you come here now, please?”

Rupert registered the change in her voice, and smiled, soft and a little shy. He settled himself in on Anya’s other side, resting his head on her stomach, reaching up to take her hand in his. “You know we love you, Anya, don’t you?” he murmured.

“Hmm,” said Anya happily. “Tell me again.”

Jenny started giggling, burying her face in Anya’s shoulder. Rupert rolled his eyes a little, smiling indulgently, and kissed Anya’s knuckles.

“I love you too,” said Anya. “Both of you.”

“That’s kinda the point, isn’t it?” said Jenny, and tugged Anya into a kiss.


End file.
